We believe we have to suffer in order to learn and achieve, that it’s somehow just part of getting to the next level. That if there’s no suffering, there’s no growth. Our society and even spiritual communities promote this idea. What if we just abandoned the notion that we had to do life the hard way.
Those of us who come from families who’ve endured trauma are especially convinced suffering is necessary. We may have witnessed violence, or heard stories about violence that occurred before we were born. It has been absorbed into our psyche, our cellular being. And while we’re wired to be more sensitive and empathetic, we also seek out situations where suffering exists. To fix, to save. We repeat what we know in order to attempt correcting it.
We also know deep down that we have the opportunity to change the trajectory of our life, to intervene on our own behalf. And if we find ourselves in situations that are causing us to suffer we ought to ask ourselves why. What have we ever gained through suffering and did it benefit us in the long term? Pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional.