Staying in a situation you deem unhealthy not only affects your mood, it also erodes self-esteem. But there’s a reason we cling to loveless marriage, superficial friendships and unsatisfying jobs – we are trying to get our needs met. It’s a noble effort. The issue is that we are often so identified with needs that we neglect our values.
Needs are integral to our well-being; values really shape our self image. Perhaps you have a need for financial security but a value is to do meaningful work in the world. Can these co-exist peacefully or is some adjustment necessary? It requires a balance of trust and surrender but it is possible to appropriately meet your needs while also honoring your values.
The first step is getting clear (and honest) on what they are. Intention starts with attention. I’m curious to know: what are your needs and values and how are you living them, or not? How are you releasing, or clinging to, those that no longer serve you?