1. Acknowledge the remorse or guilt that you’re carrying around.
2. Write down what is causing this. In each instance, include what happened, who was involved, how it made you feel, any fears that came up, your role in the situation, what you might have done differently.
3. Make a list of the people to whom you would like to make amends. If, for whatever reason, it’s not appropriate to make a direct amends, then brainstorm other actions you would like to take in order to bring about healing.
4. Share what you’ve written with a trusted friend or therapist. Don’t leave anything out. Be as honest as possible.
5. Make amends where necessary and appropriate.
6. Write about how this process has made you feel, what you’ve learned from making amends and if there’s anything still left to do.
7. Once you’ve completed the process, share any insights with your friend or therapist.
8. Do something that serves to honor your process: buy yourself flowers; go to a yoga class; watch an uplifting movie; cook your favorite meal.