April 2017 | Page 2 of 3 | Sherisse Alvarez

Opportunities for Learning

There comes a point in our exploration when we crave to connect with teachers or mentors. When the opportunity appears trusting the process can be difficult. If we find we cannot let our guard down, we may need to do some healing around past relationships with teachers. If it seems we cannot make space in our busy lives for learning, we can take an inventory of our schedule and what may getting in the way.

We cannot always know, intellectually, the cause of our resistance to change. Instead we can be a student of our own body and work with our feelings somatically. This working with is both surrender and prayer. It is looking at the facts without judgment. We accept what is true as a way to make room, gently, for new opportunities. There is no need to force progress. Trusting that we are enough means that we have everything we need right in this moment.

The Body Listening

The body is affected by what it hears. It is interested in sounds, language, music, poetry, stories. It gravitates naturally towards these things from the time we are born, perhaps before.

Listening, as a whole-body experience, can put us more closely in touch with god and with our own divinity.

When we listen with our full attention we notice the subtle shifts of our psyche. Our mind influences the body and vice versa.

To be in the presence of our listening allows us to perceive our innate spiritual potential.

Each time we visit these intimate spaces within ourselves our sensitivity and sensuality grow, become more dynamic. We feel the integration of our breathing, our pulsation.

Somatic articulation is vibrational though its manifestation may resemble silence. Listening in this engaged way is simultaneously active and passive. It is both giving and receiving.

Your Audience

You won’t please everyone. Better to select your audience and then speak to them. That’s your tribe.

Getting clear on who your audience is means you can’t have it all. Less is more. You get to be selective.

In the process you may let people down. That is okay because those who do align with your method or view will be better served.

To truly be of service we have to use discernment. This isn’t really about making friends or proving we’re good at everything.

Whether you write or teach or build things, be intentional about who you want to speak to. Naturally your message will expand the clearer you get.

This means operating from abundance rather than lack. It means trusting your audience too. That they will seek you out, want what you have to offer because you speak their language.

Dimming Our Light

When we dim our light it doesn’t only affect us; it affects others as well. We suffer when our gifts aren’t properly used because we have lost our connection with purpose.

Purpose is the thing that moves us to do our best work, that motivates and inspires us, makes our soul sing. Anything short of this, can and should only be practice for the real thing.

Obstacles to Compassion

Compassion doesn’t always come when we want it. We may experience guilt as a result, particularly if we have been taught to be a martyr, or if we are empathic by nature.

When dealing with a charged situation or difficult person, we may be unable to tap into our compassion. The resistance indicates that there is still some healing to do around that particular dynamic or relationship.

We shouldn’t be angry with ourselves or judge where we are since it will change when we’re ready. The important thing is not to deny our feelings but to trust them instead. We are likely feeling them for a reason. This isn’t good or bad, only neutral.

Rather than rush our progress we can embrace what is true for us in this moment. We can voice it to a trusted friend or journal as a way to better understand what is coming up. This is an opportunity to practice acceptance, to honor a message the body is voicing.

Compassion is intimately tied to forgiveness. If we’re having a difficult time with one, absence of the other is revealing itself. But perhaps we are the one in need of forgiveness and not the other. Getting to the heart of our resistance will help us face what’s hidden underneath.

Though it may take us time — sometimes it will take us lifetimes — we will eventually arrive at forgiveness. Healing is the natural order of things. Even from point A to point B there are countless shifts and changes beyond our perception. This is why we heal after illness.

When compassion is inaccessible to us we simply work with what is so. We can apply curiosity and beginner’s mind to our inquiry, allowing the obstacles to be our guide.

The Light of Pure Experience

Most people would like to know where they’re going before they’ve gotten there. Their mind becomes preoccupied with the final product or end result. It’s a kind of striving for perfection; its nature is aggressive and controlling. In the body it expresses as physical pain and discomfort, similar to grief.

If we know the outcome then it’s not transformation. To change is to come to a realization over time, to let go of beliefs that no longer support us. Shifting our mindset generally happens gradually as we assimilate new information about ourselves. And tiny shifts often lead to significant growth.

There is a lovely line is a book by Dainin Katigiri called Returning to Silence: “All you have to do is just continually move directly toward the pure experience of touching the heart.”

Moving directly toward pure experience is a liberating gesture. It open us up to the divine, the beauty of being, our luminosity. Sensing this, the heart naturally opens. There is nowhere to go because our experience right here, imperfect as it may seem to us, is enough.

Creative Pleasure

Writing — or creating any work of art — from a defensive place, may lead to the production of something great. The story may be compelling, the characters relatable. But there’s also the possibility that defensiveness creates a kind of block, an energy that stifles. From a contracted stance, we write small; we are wedded to proving a point. Convincing the other(s) we are right becomes our main goal. True desire gets lost. Creativity is much more enjoyable when it stems from love. When it reminds us of the possibility for connection, intimacy, truth. But your truth will be different from my truth. When we find our own version, we should get to know it, make it habitable, take pleasure in spending time there.

Love, and Litter on the Bench

There’s an elderly man who sits on one of the benches at the train station near my home. He does this alone and only in the evenings during rush hour. He brings with him food scraps to scatter on the seats beside his, presumably to keep strangers away.

In life, many of us assume this stance. We park ourselves in the center of it all where we will draw attention and we say, Don’t come near me. In a performative way, with an audience and as if on a stage, we act out our loneliness, our shame, our fears.

Sometimes, there is another version of this story: we choose to stand out because we know our value. And we aren’t afraid because we intuitively know the magic we possess, the potential. For connection, empathy, self-cultivation.

Cognizant of the fact that our love does heal — and that as it is given so it is received — we give it freely, fully. That love never runs out; it only nourishes us.

Remaining in Presence

Our habit is often to project from a place of fear. To visit the future or past and create stories that match our projections. We leave our direct experience. Exiled from the truth of who we are, we root ourselves in fantasy.

When we abandon our true nature — comprised of love and compassion — we sink into despair. Our thoughts become dark, our bodies develop illness.

A deeper intelligence urges us to remain present. If we listen to the messages of our somatic wisdom the hints become clear. Come back, stay here, abide in the serenity of your essence.

Forms of Loving

Polyamory is shorthand for relationships involving more than two people. A triad is one iteration. While not completely common in our society, more and more people are exploring what polyamory means to them and what’s possible outside of conventional arrangements.

Many of us have judgmental reactions when we encounter ideas that go against the norm. Since we know that about half of all “traditional” relationships (straight, monogamous marriages) end, it makes sense that we’re beginning to question the heteronormative standard.

Somatic inquiry of any kind helps us get clear on our desires and, therefore, our relationships. It brings into sharper focus who we are meant to be. How we love is one aspect of our identity. Polyamory isn’t for everyone and doesn’t have to be. There’s also nothing inherently wrong with this choice. It requires healthy communication, consent, loving-kindness and honesty.

Often we struggle with feelings that serve as obstacles to intimacy, even when it’s the thing we want the most. It’s true, in polyamory we may experience heightened levels of jealousy. If we choose to embrace our jealous feelings as normal they can be transformed. Vital to the process are partners who respect our our needs and preferences, and the whole of who we are.