Compassion doesn’t always come when we want it. We may experience guilt as a result, particularly if we have been taught to be a martyr, or if we are empathic by nature.
When dealing with a charged situation or difficult person, we may be unable to tap into our compassion. The resistance indicates that there is still some healing to do around that particular dynamic or relationship.
We shouldn’t be angry with ourselves or judge where we are since it will change when we’re ready. The important thing is not to deny our feelings but to trust them instead. We are likely feeling them for a reason. This isn’t good or bad, only neutral.
Rather than rush our progress we can embrace what is true for us in this moment. We can voice it to a trusted friend or journal as a way to better understand what is coming up. This is an opportunity to practice acceptance, to honor a message the body is voicing.
Compassion is intimately tied to forgiveness. If we’re having a difficult time with one, absence of the other is revealing itself. But perhaps we are the one in need of forgiveness and not the other. Getting to the heart of our resistance will help us face what’s hidden underneath.
Though it may take us time — sometimes it will take us lifetimes — we will eventually arrive at forgiveness. Healing is the natural order of things. Even from point A to point B there are countless shifts and changes beyond our perception. This is why we heal after illness.
When compassion is inaccessible to us we simply work with what is so. We can apply curiosity and beginner’s mind to our inquiry, allowing the obstacles to be our guide.