When another person betrays your trust, you feel like a victim. It is human and natural to sulk. Do. But then step outside the smallness of victim-mind. Take a deep, expansive breath. Check out what else is available. To stand in your power is to understand that you are not and have never been a victim, that you have options – even when it feels like your back is up against the wall.
When someone harms you – especially a relative, partner, or teacher – you may be triggered to the point of acting out. And while acting out does, in fact, give you some very temporary relief, it does not provide any long-term solutions. Even if your actions are directed at the perpetrator, you are the one who suffers most deeply. In an attempt to gain the upper hand, you forfeit your own sense of well-being and serenity.
Taking a step back from the situation allows you to feel the hurt but not be governed by it. It empowers you to make decisions that are sane and aligned with your core values. There is wisdom in anger (your nervous system is signaling to you that there’s an unmet need to address), but knowing that you have choices frees you up immensely: physically, mentally and spiritually.
Realizing that you don’t have to act immediately, allows some of the charge of the moment to dissipate. You can go for a silent walk or reach out to a compassionate friend or write a letter you don’t send. What these pauses offer is so much greater than the high (and inevitable low) that comes from harming yourself in the name of getting even. Isn’t it preferable to focus on your resourcefulness? The alternative is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die.