We spend much of our adult life in judgment. As children our curiosity leads the way and we seldom dwell on good or bad, right or wrong. The child’s mind is similar to what the Buddhists call “beginner’s mind.” It is free of criticism and negativity. It is simply open, loving yet unattached.
To be able to listen to a friend (or enemy) with a mind that is clear is an act of generosity. It frees us up. When we are caught in judgment, we miss out on valuable experiences. We stay hidden and so does the other.
I’ve had, in my own life, the experience of sharing with people who were critical and people who listened in a receptive, unbiased way. I think we probably all have. Judgment is always a projection of insecurity.
A dear friend reminded me recently of the acronym HALT. Whenever I am in judgment, I can ask myself if I’m: hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Self-care and self-love are antidotes to critical mind.
To practice non-judgment with others we must also practice it with ourselves. We can begin by forgiving ourselves. This is a power we possess. We should not wait for this to come from an outside source. Once we recognize our innocence, we will also recognize it in others.