When we feel invisible in relationship it affects our self-esteem. We may know intellectually that we are worthy of a loving partnership (job, etc.) but we can’t seem to initiate change. Inertia has set in and is holding us back from truly feeling the joy we know is possible. Because we fear that we will be seen as wrong for leaving, we stay. We hope for change and improvements that never come and cling to unfulfilled promises — the possibility of commitment, marriage, a raise, a promotion.
We sometimes have to hit our personal bottom before we will find the courage to end it, say goodbye, move on. Others of us, less risk-averse, will have the courage and flee before circumstances worsen. We will know our boundaries and trust what our intuition is telling us. And though we feel fear, we dare to do take the leap anyway.
The lover’s embrace, metaphorically speaking, is our way through. It is the assurance that we get — from a partner, therapist, friend, coach — when we say we just can’t do it. It is the push, the prod, the poke. This person sees us and affirms what we are capable of and reminds us when we cannot yet know it for ourselves. It’s as if they have a direct line of communication with our future self. They are holding for us the flag we will need when we get there.
To reach this embrace we must allow the other to enter, to hold and support us. If we don’t give them permission we will continue manifesting situations in which we do it all by ourselves. Letting the lover in requires vulnerability but it also gives us the opportunity to reciprocate when necessary. To be the light, the welcoming beacon, bearer of hope. The lover teaches us all this and, because they see us when we cannot, makes us once again visible to ourselves.