“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
–Viktor Frankl
When we feel uncertain we tend to just react. We think that doing will instantly make us feel better. Quite often, however, when we act prematurely we quickly experience remorse. A good preventive measure when we are unclear is doing nothing.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t care or that we settle. It simply means that we make some space for ease and grace to show up. If our bodies are tense, we wait for a more relaxed state to emerge. Sometimes something quite remarkable happens: we forget about the problem or situation. The obsession lifts.
Experiencing the range of our emotions in this way can be quite startling. We wonder how in one moment we can be filled with uncertainty (or fear or anger), and serenity the next. When we experience intense feelings it is as though we are hypnotized; we can’t imagine feeling any other way. It is a form of ignorance and it is what leads to violence on all levels.
We feel the charge of a disagreement in our cells. This is why we can feel sick or hungover after an argument. But something literally shifts in us when we are able to create distance. When that isn’t possible, we can also achieve subtle distance through breath, prayer, meditation, affirmations, or journaling. Different things will work depending on the environment and the quality of the situation.
Letting go ultimately liberates us, loosens our grip on expectations. It reveals to us that vulnerability is universal and that our hearts are all made up of the same stuff. It truly is like opening the windows so that we may expand our view. Nature is a very helpful model. Spend time with trees and mountains and sky. They all seem to have mastered the art and skill of doing nothing.